Just When I Thought I Had Lost Faith in Falling in Love...

...the keyboardist from Elkland comes along and makes my DONG hard like none other!

If anything else needs to be explained, we cannot be friends...because you simply don't get me :-)

P.S. I'm no longer just a fan...I'm officially a stalker and oh so proud of it!!

Wanted: Lobotomy

Where do I begin?! Last night was incredibly weird and peculiar, in the fun and crazy sense of the words.

The night started off with drinks at Olive’s and my introduction to the birthday boy (or more accurately, girl)! Collin can be imagined by thinking of the queeniest gay man you know and multiplying that queeny intensity times 10.

J.K. and I decided 30 seconds into the evening that drinking heavily would be our only salvation, and it was! And it only took 5 minutes to answer the question of, what type of guy would “marry” Collin? The answer: the quiet type…the quiet type that likes to stare.

That brings the story to Nisos, an overly-priced Chelsea dining establishment with an incredible Black Angus Steak. The dinner table(s) was surrounded by about 20 completely random and alarmingly different gay men accented by one token woman strongly channeling The Practice’s Camryn Manheim.

The evening was going pretty much as predicted up until this point. One of the best moments of the night was when Collin was going around the table introducing everyone to a few new arrivals. When he got to our end of the table, it went something like this: “that’s Justin, that’s the other Justin, that’s the asshole…” Guess who was the asshole?! That’s right, yours truly. I can’t rightly remember what bitchy insult I through at him earlier in the evening, but I do love that I got under his skin!

Before a shot of Jose Cuervo bought by a Cajun from Newalins, and a little drama involving a guy named Jason who Collin believed to owe him money & be named Michael, we headed to a straight bar (of all places). If only we were impressed by Collin’s ability to stroll past the velvet ropes of a straight club that none of us had interest in!! I’m sure it was just the birthday boy’s unsuccessful attempt to keep his “husband” away as many good-looking gay men as possible :-)

One, I think the name of the club was, was completely packed but completely lame. No wonder J.K. wasn’t feeling it! And this is where the night gets ridiculously interesting for me…after 2am.

J.K. had an idea to end the night at Roxy, and I was so surprised/shocked by the idea (and drunk) that I found myself going along with it. Everything was going fine, and adequately blurry, until I spotted a strangely familiar silhouette. Who else could it be except for R.S., an old flame that always seems to creep back into my head when I’ve managed to virtually erase him from my memory?! Oh well, it was great to see him and nice to be reminded of why we never worked out long term. (wouldn’t you like it if I elaborated?!) *smirk*

At the end of the day (or night), it was a crazy time shared by all…and there was a lot more drama going on than was present on the surface. But that just goes with being gay…or more accurately, with being a human being. We as gay men just seem to welcome drama into our realm much more often. I believe that the vast majority of us don’t really like it all that much, but it prevents our lives from boring us…and that kinda makes sense, doesn't it!?

On a completely unrelated, but completely fabulous, note:
The Rent motion picture soundtrack gets released this Tuesday. Seasons of Love is SO my jam!!

Zoloft Martini, Extra Olives!!

So, last night I decided to get CRUNK all by myself (like the drunk that I am) while watching my boi Nick dance his little hot ass off…this was before I decided it was imperative for me to watch Reality Bites and reminisce on how brilliant Ethan Hawke (my LOVAH) is as Troy!!

I pass out at 10:30…

Skip to this morning…

My mind has been hugely conflicted today…and deeply troubled. There have been some peculiar universal rifts lately that have been throwing me off, and I don’t like it one bit. But I always say that disruption fosters great change…that is if you let it. Where’s my Zoloft Martini, goddammit??!!!

Thank god (who, btw, is totally fucked up if TX gets shit on by Rita) tonight’s OC night. I really need my Adam Brody right now. I can be such a cuddle whore sometimes, but never to the high degree that M.D. is one. *wink* (I love you, Homey G Slice) :-)

On a final note, can we talk about how much gay people trifle me?! Cause it’s A GREAT DEAL. I need more straight friends, that’s all there is to it.

I’ll BE TAKING APPLICATIONS INDEFINITELY!!

Self-prescribed advice for the day:
When life’s a bitch, bitch-slap it!!

DONE…

Shifting Hormones

So, I started my period this afternoon :-) Yeah, I know, I’m a guy and we don’t “technically” get tha “flow”…but I think any man will tell you we experience hormone fluctuations too. And researchers have even named the condition IMS (irritable male syndrome). The male version of the overly-hyped PMS, it’s something that all men are afflicted with but that few properly acknowledge.

All I have to say is the research shows that my testosterone level is dipping, and the only treatment I can come up with is decreasing the amount of time I spend “mastering my own fate”! But rather than trying to defeat this condition, I am willing to accept the fact that my body is on a cycle…and the worst part of the cycle comes around the 21st of the month!

On an unrelated note, (as some of you know) I’ve been dealing with an addiction to FOX’s So You Think You Can Dance…and Nick is my boyfriend & needs to call me before I get upset. Oh, and I watched (or rather fast-forwarded through) episode 4 of HBO’s Rome…but only for Mark Antony’s full-frontal & let’s just say Mama was NOT impressed. ;-) However, I was intrigued by the midget cameo…and I was reminded of the time I fell asleep during Braveheart…what can I say?!...I have a chronic issue with “period pieces”.

B.C., I hope this doesn’t compromise our friendship!! *wink* (shift 8)

On an equally unrelated note, I have to share one of my fav quotes from one of my all-time fav movies, Reality Bites:

“The only thing you have to be by the age of 23 is yourself.” Guess who turned 23 this month?!

Emerson & Elizabethtown

The respect of great people is important to me. I believe that great people should keep the company of other great people. And we should never settle for what we perceive as less than greatness. I’m continuously trying to incorporate that mantra into my life. In a world abundant with average, it’s easy to settle. Striving for greatness can be exhausting, but it is well worth the time, energy & patience.

This thought process reminded me of one of my fav quotes:

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” - Emerson

A great quote from the new Elizabethtown promo: “If life’s a journey, it’s the detours that really count.” With Cameron Crowe directing, I’ve got high hopes for this one! In Theaters October 14 :-)

The Next Big Thing In Life & In Music

With some of the most important people in my life contemplating some huge decisions in their lives and how they're going to execute them, I’ve decided it can’t hurt to ask myself the question, “What’s next for me?!”

The arguably biggest decision of my life happened 18 months ago this coming Friday. My move to New York was monumental in so many ways. I still get teary-eyed when thinking back on the strength that it took to make that plunge, and where I might be if I would have opted out on that huge choice. Coming out to my family was a breakthrough, my entrance onto the advertising scene at kbp was a step in the right direction, but I’m not sure what’s next. Hopefully the deliberations of people close to me will (continue to) challenge me to work at discovering the next big thing, instead of waiting for the universe to bring it my way.

On a lighter note, I saw an incredibly intriguing band play this Saturday at Rothko on the LES. Elkland not only has a great sound, but they are aesthetically delicious. They’ll be in NYC again on the 26th of this month at the Mercury Lounge if anyone’s down! I'll be there, especially since it's a couple blocks from my pad :-)

Elkland is Officially Too Cool For School

Possible Disturbance.

Should I be disturbed that my boss, a 40ish-year-old gay male, took this pic at the agency-wide booze (I mean boat) cruise last week?! I think I might be more disturbed that he actually chose to share it with me and the owner of the other ass...

And can we have a round of applause going out to my ass for actually showing up that day!! I actually had forgotten that I had one, it disappears so often :-)

The Fruits of a Lazy Weekend

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about putting myself back in circulation where dating is concerned. Not that I’ve technically been out of circulation the past couple months, but I’ve been especially comfortable and content with not having an ATM (at the moment) guy. The only thing holding me back from getting back out there in the game is the extreme exhaustion that comes with playing that field.

Unfortunately, part of me has given up on the idea of finding someone special to call my own. So I’m afraid I must resort to short stints of meaningless pleasure in order to receive the minimum amount of affection that I require. Of course these temporary highs can only temporarily satisfy me physically and intellectually. But what other options do I have?!

Are some people just never meant to find a special someone?! I’d say yes.

Do I believe in “the one”? No. But I do believe in there being a handful of people with which each of us are meant to share parts of our lives in an incredibly intimate way. I’m a jaded human being that is convinced that “true love” is a fairytale and “the one” does not exist.

Love & infatuation are both funny things that equally blind and confuse the hell out of me. With both of these emotions/conditions come incredible highs. But in life we’re forced to take the lows with the highs, and these universal extremes can make or break us…

We all live in extravagant times,
Playing games we can't all win.
Unintended emotional crimes,
Take some out, take others in.

To Be Continued……

No Regrets

I believe strongly that we should never be sorry for doing something we feel in our hearts to be right. We as mature human beings must learn to make choices with conviction, as well as acknowledge, accept & respect the decisions of others (especially those decisions made by key players in our lives).

We as humans in general are forced to do what we have to do to survive and thrive. That means doing what seems best for you at a certain point in time. And we don’t have to embrace, & most certainly don’t have to agree with, the choices that people in our lives make. But respect is key to having healthy relationships with these individuals. If you respect (& love) the individual, it should theoretically be easy to respect his or her decisions (if they are well thought out & strategically sound). On the same note, key players in your life have to be respectful of your calculated life-choices in order to keep resentment from appearing on the scene and tainting the bond you share with them.

Dealing with the mistakes made by loved ones is the more difficult part of this equation. That’s where a great friend & respectful person will shine & a sub-standard friend & immature human being will show their true colors & negatively take advantage of the bad decision maker and his or her emotions. Do you “tell them so” or let them make what is, in your opinion, a highly probable mistake. When you’re very close with someone, it’s impossible to be totally objective when giving advice. And many times selfish motives overpower the concerned party’s counsel.

As a very independent person, I’m not even sure how I would react to a close friend of mine questioning a life choice I was about to make. I do believe that when something looks and feels right, it’s worth some deep consideration and scrutiny. Unfortunately, things that feel right are not always the best things for us. Many times we get distracted by our feelings toward a certain situation, a certain individual or a certain past decision. These distractions cloud our judgment, and sometimes our only salvation is the perspective of people who are both ignorant to some degree of the situation and sufficiently connected to us (the decision-maker).

I normally use this as a mantra: “Good friends tell you what you want to hear, but great friends tell you what you need to hear.” But we don’t always know what each other need to hear; and if we don’t know (or have a highly subjective opinion), we should keep our mouths shut.

All(coholics) Aboard

Oh the beauty of raging alcoholics getting together for some hardcore boozing on the agency dime…add the fact that the first 5 hours were on a boat and I was in heaven!! Yesterday was the annual boat cruise/party that the agency throws to celebrate how fabulous we are as a group and individuals. It was quite interesting for me since this was the first agency-wide function I would have had the opportunity to take part in since coming aboard. And boy did I come aboard that ship!!

It went better than expected, seeing as it was quite easy to show everyone what a rock-star I am and make them fall in love with me as a person. Next, I must intoxicate them with my impressive work…but this was definitely a start of a beautiful relationship between KBP & me. On a related quite hilarious note, it just so happens that the assistant to one of the Co-Chairmen of the agency is in love with me. I knew I was going to have to set some boundaries when while I was draining myself of toxins after the booze cruise at Half King Bar, I heard R.P. on the other side of the door, "Where’s my boyfriend?"…LOL…I faintly remember agreeing to allow him to take me out to dinner on Tuesday night, and I’m sure he’ll hold me to it. This could be trouble! I definitely need to borrow B.C.’s "This Won’t Go Anywhere" t-shirt!!

I’m hoping this weekend will be a nice and relaxing one. The weather is predicted to be completely gorgeous, and I don’t have any plans that are going to take much energy out of me.

Before I go, I must share the quote of the day stated by an anonymous kbper to M.P. at work this morning: "Did Katie go home with a gay boy?!" The obvious answer is no, but I laughed for an hour knowing that gay boy in question was/is me :-)

Just another day (and night) in the life of a drunk, gay and fabulous New Yorker.

Cheers.

My Beantown Commentary

A year older and a bigger lush than ever before, but I’m embracing the big 2-3 and my soiled liver like a pro. And I realized last night that I’ve reached a new landmark, since I had trouble getting to sleep with no fresh alcohol in my system. So I downed a wine cooler and called it a day!

I think I did a pretty great job of salvaging what was a huge birthday letdown into something incredibly fun and memorable. Actually, if there is such a thing as having too much fun, that’s what I had this weekend in Boston. If you haven’t seen the pictures, they are priceless and you must click on the link NOW. I promised commentary, but I’ve decided to share just a brief synopsis of the weekend instead of trying to justify its greatness!

The simple truth is that Boston always does me good. The city’s energy is quite positive and pure, with just enough pretentiousness to make it interesting and gay-friendly. The majority of Boston boys are fierce, aggressive, and most importantly beautiful. It’s always nice to visit a city where the gorgeous men are compacted into a few bars and clubs, rather than randomly distributed and invisible without first sifting through the unacceptable. I digress!

T.S. is currently visiting family in Bulgaria, so it was just E.L. and me enjoying each other’s company, talking way too much about our pussetas throbbing and our lips hurting real bad!! Anggun was always in the background, Eric was more in love with Shakira than ever, and my fetish for French men (stressing the plural) was revisited.

To make a long weekend short, I HEART BOSTON and believe that if I wasn’t living in NYC, my ass would so be shaking there on a more permanent basis. But until my heart lets go of this island, Beantown will have to be my home away from the Big Apple homos.

P.S. I’ve made a mental list of who didn’t bother to call, text or email me on my birthday and will now begin placing curses on each and everyone of them for failing to do so.

Commentary To Follow :-)

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