No Regrets

I believe strongly that we should never be sorry for doing something we feel in our hearts to be right. We as mature human beings must learn to make choices with conviction, as well as acknowledge, accept & respect the decisions of others (especially those decisions made by key players in our lives).

We as humans in general are forced to do what we have to do to survive and thrive. That means doing what seems best for you at a certain point in time. And we don’t have to embrace, & most certainly don’t have to agree with, the choices that people in our lives make. But respect is key to having healthy relationships with these individuals. If you respect (& love) the individual, it should theoretically be easy to respect his or her decisions (if they are well thought out & strategically sound). On the same note, key players in your life have to be respectful of your calculated life-choices in order to keep resentment from appearing on the scene and tainting the bond you share with them.

Dealing with the mistakes made by loved ones is the more difficult part of this equation. That’s where a great friend & respectful person will shine & a sub-standard friend & immature human being will show their true colors & negatively take advantage of the bad decision maker and his or her emotions. Do you “tell them so” or let them make what is, in your opinion, a highly probable mistake. When you’re very close with someone, it’s impossible to be totally objective when giving advice. And many times selfish motives overpower the concerned party’s counsel.

As a very independent person, I’m not even sure how I would react to a close friend of mine questioning a life choice I was about to make. I do believe that when something looks and feels right, it’s worth some deep consideration and scrutiny. Unfortunately, things that feel right are not always the best things for us. Many times we get distracted by our feelings toward a certain situation, a certain individual or a certain past decision. These distractions cloud our judgment, and sometimes our only salvation is the perspective of people who are both ignorant to some degree of the situation and sufficiently connected to us (the decision-maker).

I normally use this as a mantra: “Good friends tell you what you want to hear, but great friends tell you what you need to hear.” But we don’t always know what each other need to hear; and if we don’t know (or have a highly subjective opinion), we should keep our mouths shut.