Over My Head (Cable Car)

by The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
(x2)

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
(x2)

One Week Later

So, it took me a week to retrieve them. But alas, pics of last weekend with my Boston Boys (minus 1) in town.

Gotta' love Splash bartenders (that look this good at 42)!

Like my Nashville shirt?! I'd like to give a shout-out to Miss. Nashvegas, KBH!

Is it just me, or do I look really hot in this pic?! ;-)

Here they are, the Boston Gotti Boys portraying their version of Oreo!!

Programming note: Yes, I'm growing out my hair until Spring. Change is good, don't you think?!

Pardon Me

Although the lyrics to the above-mentioned Incubus song are a bit over-dramatic, I love the song for a few obvious reasons:

1. I’m 23, duh.
2. Nick Lazzarini used it for his last solo performance on “So You Think You Can Dance?”
3. It’s Incubus, duh.

A decade ago, I never thought I would be,
At twenty-three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion.
Woe is me.

But I guess that it comes with the territory;
An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity.

I need you to hear,
I need you to see,
That I have had all I can take,
And exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.

So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world, and its people's mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me…
Don't ever be the same.

On a sad, unrelated note: Love Monkey has been pulled by CBS after ONLY three episodes. For those of you who were not in the meager 7.2 million viewers that it averaged, go fuck yourselves/I’m pissed. My heart-felt sympathy goes out to both Tom Cavanagh and Jason Priestley, whose careers are both struggling…poor Canadians!

Let’s Be Honest

Asking me what I’m doing for Valentine’s Day is like asking a devout Jew what he’s doing for Christmas. It’s simply not as offensive as it is ignorant. But I get it, February 14 is a religious holiday that many whole-heartedly acknowledge, including myself (as long as I have the right of first refusal when it comes time to observe it).

I’ve been asking myself the following question throughout the day and now will attempt to give my honest answer: “Is today just another day, or is that what us single folks tell ourselves to distract ourselves from our independent status?!”

All together now, “Good question!”

If we’re REALLY being honest here, euphemisms (i.e. independent) are what gets most of us through the day. Whether we’re still checking the single box, in a LTR, or in any relationship intimate enough to warrant the V-day hoopla, we all constantly tell ourselves it’s better than it (whatever “it” might be for you) really is. And that’s just the truth, that’s not me being cynical!

But to answer my own question, I do believe this to be just another day. However, I’m not naïve to the fact that if I was in an intimate relationship I would not think this was just another day. What us singles are NOT doing is distracting; we are simply acknowledging reality in stating that we are like Christians at Christmas-time with no Jesus. We don’t have any reason to celebrate such a day, and should therefore go about our daily lives.

Enough said!

Now please excuse me, I must bounce to go get wasted with my single & fabulous (exclamation point) friends!

Love Addictions: Driving Under the Influence

Sometimes it’s hard to be an observer, an innocent bystander. Especially when it seems like you’re watching a car crash in slow motion, but you just can’t stop it. It deeply disturbs you and your heart is immediately connected to the parties involved, even before the full impact is felt by them. In the same way, it’s extremely unsettling to give a friend counsel when he or she is in denial of their current role as one of the drivers in one of these pending automobile accidents.

Relationship DUI’s are often committed while being caught up in a whirlwind of infatuation. It’s interesting to see how drastically things can change when you’re under the influence of just one person. And unfortunately, being above this influence is being at a place where many people feel totally alone and insecure for lack of affection and belonging. These DUI’s are one effect of a greater problem, which are the love addictions that will forever plague some drivers.

Many people mistake a love addiction for a life direction, and a large majority of these people mistake direction for happiness. They define themselves with the help of this direction that is rooted in compromise. The harsh reality remains that there is never a good time to be yourself, alone, absent of others to help define you. Some think that the small doses of love that they are swallowing will serve to take the edge off their loneliness. What they don’t realize is that, in taking the edge off, they can no longer be edgy. In losing their edge, they lose what makes them an individual. They can no longer be defined by the sum of their own parts, but rather must be combined with another person’s parts to create a whole entity. And that’s just lame.

Or maybe these people are just sacrificing their sobriety for something more, something more complex and fulfilling. No, that can’t be it!

I actually believe that this kind of substance abuse problem has little substance to it. But if being consumed by a temporary solution is what gets these people through the next month, I say drink up!

Meanwhile, I’ll be taking part in my love addiction of choice! The source of my addiction loves me for me, and doesn’t ask me to change anything about myself!

And that’s PROOF enough that it's a love worth pursuing!

If I'm Being Perfectly Honest...

...I’ve only started and finished a handful of books in my lifetime. Maybe that says something about my ability to follow through with anything. Maybe! Anyway, today I completed Augusten Burroughs’ memoir, Running With Scissors. Can I just say that I love this man?! He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s fucked-up. He reminds me so much of myself that it actually freaks me out to read his stuff.

Excerpts from Running With Scissors:

“But she did love him. I believe it. I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Because they are all you have. Because any attention is better than no attention.”

(I wonder who that reminds me of!)

“My heart raced and I wanted to flee. And then I didn’t want to flee, I wanted to kill my mother. My face became like the heating coil on the stove, and I trembled with hatred. And then just as suddenly, I felt absolutely nothing. It was like a door quickly opened, showing me what horrible feelings I had inside, and then slammed shut again so I wouldn’t have to actually face them. In many ways I felt I was living the life of a doctor in the ER. I was learning to block out all emotions in order to deal with the situation. Whether that situation involved a mother who was constantly having nervous breakdowns or the death of the family cat by laundry hamper.”

(For the record, I don’t want to kill my mother!)

“It seemed to me that New York was the place where misfits could fit.”

(Preach it, preacher!)

And I can’t wait to bag my favorite author’s sophomore work, Dry:

“My blood alcohol level is dangerously low.”

I love it already!