Perfecting the Art: Breaking Up

It is hard to do, but does it always have to be tres difficile?! I feel like I lucked out this time around, but I really won’t know how much until the next phase of the plan takes effect. Actually there is no plan, and for all I know I could never see RAP again. But if I have anything to say about it, the past 3 months will forever be considered the beginning of what is/was a beautiful, long-lasting friendship. I’ll keep posted on that!

And not to sound like a dick, but this breaking up thing seems to just be something that I do. Because although this was my first official boyfriend on boyfriend relationship, I’ve been through the “breaking up” process several times before. In either case (being the breaker or the breakee), I found out a while ago that getting out of any kind of relationship is much more difficult than initiating one. All it takes to initiate is a lingering glance, but to disengage after that person knows your name can be a whole other inning & ballgame altogether!

What have I learned from my first official romantic relationship? Here it goes:

(1) With every new relationship I’m pushing myself beyond what I’ve ever experienced before and stretching myself further than I’ve ever been extended. And a few weeks ago, I said to myself, this is as far as I (can) go. In the same way that a rubber band can only be stretched so far until it pops, I was beginning to feel overextended. My elasticity can vary, but is not unlimited!

(2) I wasn’t ready, plain and simple. From the beginning, I missed the spark and excitement of meaningless first encounters, and have realized that my love is water and cannot be mixed with oil, the substance that I currently view sex as being.

(3) The opposite of love is indifference, and there is no passion when there is indifference. A lack of passion will bring down any house. And in this case, the source of the strangulation of love was my familiarity with the other person and my lack of experience with romantic relationship among people I consider a friend.

(4) I know, and am okay with, the implications of my conclusions. My life is for rent, and until I learn to buy, I deserve nothing more than I get. Nothing I have is truly mine (Dido)!

(5) When it’s right and it’s real I won’t have the lingering thoughts and doubts, which accompanied me toward the end.

In the words of Cazwell, one of the East Village’s most intriguing nightlife personalities, “having a boyfriend is like having a job and right now, I work like 40 hours a week. If you’re going to take a job, you’d better love your job.” That doesn’t make complete sense to me, but I get where he’s going with the statement. Having a boyfriend is a lot of work, and I already have a job!

On a perfectly related note, check out the video to Cazwell’s Do You Wanna Break Up. Trust me. Highly enjoyable!



As always, enjoy! And cheers to my slump!

We Are Dreamboyz (With Hot Asses)

In the spirit of Dreamgirls, I came across this pic last night and had to share! Talk about the Dreamettes!

And yes, I must gloat! This past week I attended an advance screening of Dreamgirls, one of the most highly-anticipated films of the year, and am ready to give a honest review:

It didn't BLOW me away, but I did have INCREDIBLY high expectations! Having said that, it was VERY enjoyable. Jennifer Hudson definitely stole the show,as many people predicted! Beyonce definitely needed to eat a muffin! I didn't like seeing Jamie Fox as a douchebag, but he played the part well! And taking into consideration that I do not like Eddie Murphy, I enjoyed him a alot in this!

I'll want to see it again for sure. But until we all can do that on Christmas Day (unless you live in New York, Los Angeles, or San Francisco and want to pay $25 for exclusive one-week engagements beginning December 15), go directly to iTunes and pick up at least two things:

(1) And I Am Telling You - Jennifer Hudson
(2) One Night Only - Disco Version (scroll down to watch the video!)

You might also want to check out Miss Jennifer Holiday's historic performance (featured at the 1982 Tony Awards) in the original Broadway musical. The quality of the video leaves much to be desired, but the performance does not!!



Enjoy!

Are You Sexually Attracted To Me?

A conversation can never end well when it begins with your boyfriend asking you if you’re sexually attracted to him! This is what I heard this morning right before I found myself breaking up with one of the greatest guys I’ve ever been romantically involved with. Our relationship has been a case of familiarity translating into a lack of passion, at least on my part. I’ve never been able to remain sexually involved with someone I consider a good friend. (and that one time me and some friends were snowed in and invited a random boy over does NOT count)

My only hope is that I haven’t fucked up everything and we can still remain friends. I feel like I can be a much better friend to him than the boyfriend I have been to him.

I’m beginning to understand that the term boyfriend means different things to different people, and that my current understanding of the term is fair at best. All this time I’ve been trying to be a boyfriend without knowing what that term meant to mine. The other day I went looking for a universal meaning.

Boyfriend – n. (boi-friend)
1. a frequent or favorite male companion; beau.
2. a male friend.
3. a male lover.

The above definitions came from Dictionary.com, but the real insight came after gleaming some perspective from UrbanDictionary.com...

1. A male partner in a non-marital romantic relationship usually considered more than an ordinary friend, especially in a romantic sense.
2. Non-essential male counterpart
3. The nice guy you settle for when you realize that the hot bad boys you fall for are just man-whores who make you cry as often as they make you cum.

I know now that exclusivity is not in my current mindset, no matter how bad I wish it were. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be steady boyfriend material, but I definitely realized today that I’m not there yet. I feel somewhere in the middle, like neither completely meaningless or deeply meaningful sex can satisfy me like my DVR and a glass of vino!

So if you’re reading this, and you’re thinking about dating me, RUN AWAY!

On a related note, one that shows where my true passions obviously lie at the moment, I’m once again addicted to Real World. This time the hotties are in Denver and my latest crush is being wasted on Davis, the gay Southern Baptist from Georgia.



Wednesdays at 10pm EST. In the words of Fergie, check it out!

One Night Only

I can already hear this being mixed at gay clubs everywhere!

One Night Only

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With all the hype this film is getting, I can't help but anticipate its premiere!

And in regards to the Randy Harrison comments, he was alone and looking kinda rough! My initial thought was "he must be out of work"!