Homeostasis is a Bitch

Carrie B once said on SATC (yes, I’m anxiously awaiting the premiere) that in NYC (and in life in general), you’re always looking for at least one of the following: a job, an apartment, or a boyfriend.

With both the same apartment and job intact for about 3 years now, could it be that the universe has decided to shake it up a bit where the different arenas in my life are concerned?

Does this mean I can’t have it all?

Now I’m NOT saying I have a boyfriend, or even am CLOSE to having one (officially), but I would like to ask this question….

Why is it that once I’m seemingly doing better in the romantic arena (and possibly even happy with my current situation), my job seems to suck more than it has in quite some time.

In the words of my boy MJ, “it’s very premature for me to say that I’m happy in my romantic life. I will say that – at the moment - I feel like my life has a sudden sense of energy that it lacked.”

And I’ve been very restless at work this week. My days off made it extra difficult to wake up the past two days and commute to the place that unapologetically owns my soul. I am always at the mercies of the gods above me. And it doesn't help that these gods lack my respect due to (what seems like) a lifetime of ill-repute. I just wish I had the energy and mental stamina to look for something else right now. My annual review is coming up the end of this month, so we’ll see how I feel after they give me a pathetic raise and no incentive to stay.

Can I have it all? I certainly never have. I’m under the impression that I can…but it’s not easy. The more I am given, the more I have to work to maintain it; the more that is expected of me. For now I’ll maintain my job, and my apartment, and wait to see if the trifecta is, in fact, attainable.

My hopes, as always, are not up. But I’m strangely optimistic.