I Need a Game-Plan

I think there is a very good reason why I didn’t find a job in advertising after moving to New York in March of 2004. It simply wasn’t meant to be.

Imagine spending all the time and energy snagging a job offer only to discover 2 months down the road, and way too many all-nighters later, that the industry you threw yourself into was not your heart’s desire after all!

If I’m completely honest with myself, advertising was the most legit way to exit Mobile in a timely fashion (timely meaning before I killed myself). Could it be that I’m not suited for the industry? Quite possible, I do admit.

I know I love to write, and I know I love keeping up with pop culture, but how does that translate into a career that pays the bills, finances my unhealthy habits, and brings happiness to my jaded and cynical life? The easy answer: be a columnist for a hip magazine. Okay, where do I stand in line?! Down the street, hang a right, walk 2 blocks past Get Real and the line starts there. I hope you brought a book and your iPod, as well as a number to a great crisis hotline, because you might just want to chew your arm off and jump off the Williamsburg bridge (at the same time) before this decade is over!

Yes, I could sleep my way into various circles of power homosexuals and wait for my big break while having a strange dick stuck up my ass, but I prefer to take the high road (the one that keeps me off the hiv radar and allows me to hold on to some degree of non-manufactured dignity and self-worth).

So while I’m figuring out my game-plan, I’m gonna go cook me a double-cheeseburger and begin my uncontrollable anticipation for my TiVo’s hardcore workout this evening. Can we say Adrian Grenier, Lisa Kudrow & Tony :-)